Family Interview: Part 1

Happy MondayBlog Morning!  It's good to be back with y'all today. I have been looking forward to this Blog, because I will be learning some things today, too, I think.  I hope you are excited about the week and ready to make some positive changes and progress, for the Glory of God!  I am excited about all the positive changes I have been making, but right now I don't want to talk about myself.

When people make big changes in their life,  following a dream (as in my case), weight loss, new job, marriages, babies, promotions, etc., they like to talk about that.  In fact even when the changes aren't good, they like to talk about it.  Some people more than others, but lately I have been wanting to see my life changes from a new perspective.  After all, my changes have not just affected me, they have affected those closest to me.

So, I want to know what they think.  I sent the following questions to my husband and he sent me his answers.  I did not censor him or prepare him, in any way.  Next week, I hope to hear from at least some of my "children" and their spouses.  This is their chance to sound off, give their opinions, positive or negative.  I hope this will not just be something new you learn about them or me, but that it will be a way for me to learn, grow and make this whole experience better for us all.

Sandy Kay: Tell me a little about yourself.

Husband: "I'm 48, O positive and all my body parts seem to be functioning.  I study things more than most people.  I enjoy experimenting.  I play with my grandkids, encourage my family and encourage others.  Work on my hobby farm.  All while striving for Holiness, because that is where true joy is found, in the Lord Jesus, glorifying God. Currently enjoying genealogy research.  I enjoy exploring thoughts and activities involved with efficiencies of outdoor activities such as, hiking, camping, backpacking, and especially journalling and exploring my own thoughts about life and existence while doing such activities.  Occasionally, I pick up an instrument.  The majority of my time, is spent trying to provide the encouragement of Mr. Rodgers, with the grease of Daddy Warbucks, blended with the strictness of a taskmaster, salted with flavors of Robin Williams and Jim Carrey...all while cloaking myself with the naivety of Gomer Pile, yet admittedly imagining myself as some sort of James Bond/Batman/Jack Bauer blend."

(You're the best of them all!)

Sandy Kay: Tell me a little about your relationship with Sandy, before she began to seriously write.

Husband:  "When I look back over the first 25 years or so of our marriage, in hindsight, I see an introverted feeler (Sandy Kay) and an introverted thinker adopting the Little House on the Prairie model to the start of the third millennium, with persistence (deep-rooted loving foundational persistence), through the pot holes, the blind siding projectiles, and the obstacles disguised as impenetrable walls that inevitably arise when striving to create a loving family in a well-maintained home suitable for raising the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, striving to create rich memories through enjoyment of daily routines, weekly reminders and traditional holidays and birthday celebrations.  That said...there have been tremendous frustrations due not to differences in goals and dreams, but due to a difference in our communication styles and inability to read each other's minds.  Sandy Kay has been a faithful, loving, hard working wife, friend, helper, companion and trusted confidant.  She's always found time to sneak away and read.  Sometimes oblivious to her surroundings, she can possess an amazing dedicated focus on anything she becomes interested in, for example a trip to the zoo can become frustration, because she may miss the 3 o'clock Elephant show, because she decided to pet and feed the goats at the petting zoo and lost track of time imagining the feelings of the goat (and possibly even imagining that she is the goat)."

(I admit I love goats, but I have never imagined myself to be a goat! 😄)

Sandy Kay:  What are biggest changes to your family dynamics since Sandy started writing seriously?

Husband: "Sandy Kay was more of a drifter during a typical day.  She had some solid routines, but much of her day could probably be described a "going through the motions".  But now, in order to have time to write, she seems to be much more focused and energized.  She has perked up."

Sandy Kay:  What are the biggest changes you've seen in Sandy, since she became a serious Writer?

Husband: "Her writing speed is impressive.  Writing scenes with detail in a short amount of time is something which most people probably cannot relate.  Conversations have improved.  Her natural tendency is to quietly wait for others to initiate conversations.  Perhaps the writing has something to do with her initiating more conversations."

Sandy Kay:  Overall, do you feel that the changes in your home and relationships are more positive or negative?

Husband:  "Definitely positive.  Witnessing a creative person blossom in her creative side has been enjoyable.  She's excelled in so many other areas (in college, in her motherhood, in volunteer ministries, etc.)  I guess it's no surprise that she is excelling at writing now that it has more of her focused attention.  That said, when a person has found joy in a new endeavor that fits well with the rest of her life, it spills over into positiveness in all areas."

Sandy Kay:  How could the changes and relationships improve?

Husband:  "This is a tricky question?  Should I say everything is perfect?  Is that the good husband answer?  Overall, it's great!  There are probably some times where she gets in the zone of writing and a lot of time can pass.  But, it's understandable.

(True...sometimes when I plan to sit down for 30 minutes or an hour to write...next thing I know it's been 2 hours or more, especially when there is no one around to interrupt me.)

Sandy Kay:  Anything else you want to add?

Husband:  "Anyone who has a desire to write shouldn't wait.  Set aside some dedicated minutes every day and write, write, write.  Sandy Kay is a good role model to follow for how to get started, despite all the other things going on in life.  Using her creative side has actually boosted her overall joy in everything she does."

(Thank you 😊)

(He made this for me years ago. 💘)

I appreciate my Husband for taking the time to answer these questions.  I know it wasn't easy for him, but I really am glad for the honest feedback.  If you have made significant changes in your life, that affect those around you, maybe it would be a good idea to get feedback from them, too.  We are not islands unto ourselves,  even if we are completely without family, there are still people in our lives that our choices can affect...friends, coworkers, neighbors...you may find it a learning experience and an opportunity to improve.

In Christ,

Sandy

Writer's Block

Today's Blog post will be short and sweet.  Why?  Because I am experiencing Writer's Block.  Not on my two books, but for this blog post.  I had another idea, but it didn't happen in time.... so here I am.... tick...tock...tick...tock...

You know, I have not had this problem yet on my books (knock on wood).  I hope I never do,  if I did, though there are all kinds of places a Writer can get help. Groups...pages....sites....links....books...
retreats...conferences....hotlines (jk), on just about any social media you can think of.  It happens to the best and worst of us, as the case may be.  Why did it have to happen to me when I am on a deadline?  (Self imposed, though it may be.)  I don't know, but here I sit, speechless.  Nothing...tick....tock....tick...

I know! I will tell you about one of the Instagram hashtags I've seen.  They are called #writingprompts, I have seen them give a sentence, then say something like, ok write me a short story. For example:  The two little girls knew they shouldn't leave the yard, but that dog must be lost.  Ok, go!  Write me a short story.  That's something I could do.  I guess it's a shame I am better with make-believe, than real life. 😃

I googled "Writer's Block" and 23,200,000 results showed up.  Evidently, this is not an uncommon problem.  Here are some of the helpful articles:

1.  ...Writer's Block...14 Tricks that Work...
2. How to Beat Writer's Block...
3. How famous Writer's overcome Writer's Block...
4.  Writer's Block: 27 techniques to overcome it forever....-Smart Blogger (I guess I should have looked them up, before I started this.  Make note: Follow Smart Blogger!)

Anyway, you get the idea.  There is even one that has quotes from "Great Writer's" about how to kick Writer's Block.  Hmmm,  I think I'll look that one up...

Here's one that might help:

Dayo Olopade: If I am a verbal person it is expressed most readily in the spoken word. So when I am stuck on something I take out my voice recorder—key tool for the reporter class—and start explaining the tricky point or new argument, as though at a dinner party. When I've sounded it out a few different ways, I start to transcribe. And before I know it I have a rough paragraph or two. This has been my method for ages.]]

It might work, but I am not so great at dinner parties.  I can nod and smile, but chit chatting isn't my thing.  Still, working through a story-line is much easier for me, so maybe this would work now, for this Blog, I guess I'll just have to try.

Dame Margaret Drabble:  Any conversation between waking and working can be fatal. Before embarking on creative work or on a longish essay, I do need to know I am alone, and in the morning can go straight from my bed to my machine (after coffee) without speaking to anyone, and be there alone for at least two hours.

Ahhh, maybe this is my problem!  I am rarely alone.  My thoughts are being interrupted, almost constantly.  Every now and then, I can get away to the Library, but not often.  Somehow, I usually manage to start and stop with no problem, but sometimes I lose my thought...never to be recovered.  Well, that's just my life, so I'll do my best to be content in my circumstances, whatever they may be.

Well, I did manage to get a few words down for this Blog.  It didn't end up being a blank page, with only a great big:

In conclusion, whether I write a little or a lot for this Blog or anything else, I have asked the Lord to use my writing to bring Him glory.  This certainly wasn't a Bible Study.  I didn't even use any verses...yet...but if I am writing for the Lord and asking Him to use me in whatever way He wants, then I don't have to stress or worry about what to say.  Jesus is more than capable of overcoming Writer's Block or whatever challenges come my way.

Colossians 3:17  (My Family Verse)

 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

In Christ,

Sandy 

Life is Full

Life is full of ups, downs, highs, lows and sometimes we can experience all of those things in a single day. Usually, it isn't that bad, but lately my life has been full of those emotional roller coasters.  I won't go into all the details of my life, after all I don't have all day or year to write this blog post.  I do want to share a little of my life with you.

The Flood of 2016

My house did not flood.  My house ended up being on an island.  Both ends of my street were flooded.  

This is a picture of my husband driving me on our tractor to higher ground, before we knew whether or not the flood would reach our home.  The flood however did get my daughter and her husband's home.  They had one year old twin boys and she was expecting my granddaughter at the time. 

This is a picture of the front of their house, before my husband and son-in-law gave up trying to save anything else and abandoned it.  Thankfully, most of their possessions were saved.  Long story short...

My Granddaughter was born and we have finally chosen the contractor to build them a house on our property and do renovations on our house at the same time.  Now, I left out about 2 years worth of stuff.  Some good, some not so good, but the long road to recovery looks like it does have an end.

In the midst of all of this....somehow...I wrote the first draft of my first Novel.  Wow!  Looking back, I can hardly believe I managed.  I started building my platform.  My Facebook Page was first, then this Blog, then Instagram, Twitter and hopefully a Website and maybe even a YouTube Channel is in my future. Why?  Publishers want their Authors to already have a following before they are published.  If you recognize my name, you are more likely to want to read my book.  So, here I am, a shy, introvert stepping way out of my comfort zone to introduce myself to the world and as scary as that is,  I am really really having fun doing it.

Anyway, life keeps happening.  Last Week, my Son and Daughter-in-law, gave us a new grandson.  Now, I have four precious grand babies! 💙💚💜💙

My 2nd daughter had her Bridal Shower.

My Husband and I celebrated 29 years of marriage!

The picture is a little dark, but you get the idea.😊

My mother had knee replacement surgery.

My Husband, Siblings and Dad gathering around my mother before surgery.  (It was successful, just recovery and therapy for her in the foreseeable future).

So, here I am now.  In the midst of all of that, trying to declutter and organize my house, while I edit my first Novel and do CampNaNoWriMo July, where my goal is to write 20,000 words for my second Novel.  I am 2,000 words in already! I am planning to meet with an editor and agent at the ACFW Conference in September to present my two Novels.  I am taking it one step at a time and trying to Trust the Lord to lead me.  With His guidance, my family's support and very little sleep, I might be able to do everything I need to do.  

You know what though?  I am so excited about all God is doing in my life.  As hard as it gets, because some of the lows are really really low, I know I am not alone.  God is always with me and He has given me a family that loves me and people who know what they are doing to help me.  God is Good.

P.S.

Don't forget to press my new handy dandy "Follow" button!  Sorry, it can only be seen from a computer screen, but hey, take a minute and let me know you are out there! 

In Christ,

Sandy Kay Slawson

Dedicated To The One I Love

Yesterday, I celebrated my 29th Anniversary with my husband Carlos.  To honor him and our marriage, I am dedicating this post to him.  Today, I plan to share my poem to him from last year's Anniversary (no, I do not write him a poem every year).  Then, I plan to share this year's poem.  I made sure he heard them first, of course.  Also, I plan to share a poem he wrote me (one of many...I bet you didn't know he was a romantic!).  I hope you enjoy getting a glimpse of our love for each other, as we celebrate God's blessings in our lives together.

Last year's poem:

This year's poem:

This is the little bear, where I keep Carlos' poems he's written me.   The heart holds them and I love to take them out every now and then and re-read them.

The view is from my parents back porch, on the bayou, in the Gulf of Mississippi.


Carlos' poem to me:

I want to leave you with a few thoughts.  If you are thinking of getting married, recently married or struggling in a marriage, it may seem from our poems and pictures, that we lead a fairy tale life, but we have had our struggles just like anyone else.  I must give the Lord God all credit for our enduring love and the joy we still have in our marriage.  If we had not had the foundation in our home, built on faith in the Lord Jesus and His Word, we would not have made it this far.  No matter how hard things get, tomorrow is a new day and God's mercies are new every morning.  Show your spouse mercy, too, every day.  Don't hold on to bitterness and anger.  Let it go. Forgive, forgive, forgive...I can't say it enough FORGIVE!  We live in a fallen world and we are all imperfect, sinful people in need of God's Grace.

Learn to love your husbands and wives, faults and all.  You cannot change them.  Only the Holy Spirit, through the redemption through Jesus Christ has that power.  Pray for them.  Love them in spite of their faults, just as you want them to love you in spite of yours.  If you stick it out, you will find that life comes in highs and lows like waves on the sea.  When the lows come, cling to each other and pray.  Read your Bible together and seek the Lord.  When the highs come, enjoy them with each other and praise the Lord together.  There is no greener grass on the other side.  This person you are married to, is not perfect, but they are yours.  Love and be loved for who you are, not for some unrealistic ideal you have created in your mind.  Do Carlos and I always do these things, I wish I could say yes, but we have to learn things the hard way sometimes.  I think though, that we are learning and I hope you are willing to learn, too.

In Christ,

Sandy Kay Slawson

Homemaker and Writer

One of the challenges I have been facing lately, is achieving a balance between homemaking, writing and all the things that go along with each of those vocations.  It is especially difficult, when the family is mostly home for the summer and my time is stretched thin. Even now, I am writing a sentence and then stopping to cheer for my husband and son as they make their strikes and spares in a game of bowling.  Thankfully, my writing/editing can be done anywhere I can have my tools with me, pen, paper or my computer. Internet service helps, too. 

So, this summer, I am working on a new way of doing things.  A way to get my housework, cooking, chores, family time and writing/editing done.  Not just done, though, done well and I would like to enjoy it all, too.  All of these things I have to do, are actually because I have been blessed so much.  I want to show my thankfulness to the Lord, by being a good steward, by doing the best I can with each of these blessings.

 I want the time I spend on my work, whatever that is at the moment, to be more productive, so I can do all the things that are important to me.  I don't want to spend time on a few things, just to neglect other things that are also necessary parts of mine and my family's lives.

If I had a cleaning crew doing the job for me, it wouldn't be a problem.  They could get the whole house cleaned, in a few hours, but since that isn't the case, I need to have a plan.  First, to make my job easier, I need to declutter.  Second, I need to get organized, then the cleaning part will be easier to accomplish.   If you know me at all, you know

these things do not come naturally to me.  I like my stuff and I do not have an organizing bone in my body, but I am willing to learn.

I had to turn to the experts.  Two, I really like and find motivating are Alejandra and Meg.  They don't know me, but they have already been a huge help to me, at least in making me excited about getting my life in order and balanced.  Below, are posted links to each of their YouTube channels.  They are really good at what they do.  If you need a little help and motivation, to get your life clean, organized and in balance, check them out.  

Meg (#lovemeg09)

https://youtu.be/RvKzQy_ol-s

Alejandra (alejandradottv-instagram)

https://youtu.be/EoC83JhkCAw

I want to be the best Homemaker I can be.  I want to be the best Writer I can be.  I want to enjoy the life the Lord has blessed me with and give Him my best in every area of life.  Sometimes, we need a little help to be able to learn, grow and make that happen and that's ok.  

In Christ,

Sandy Kay Slawson

Learning in Progress

Today, I thought I would take some time to talk about some of the things I have been learning. Before I get to that, though, a little update on my editing.  I am working on Chapter 16 now.  As I go along, I know I will need to go back again at least once more to polish it as much as I can before the professional editor gets it.  Be patient with me please, this is not a fast process.

As many of you know, I have been researching Publishing companies.  When I started my research, I had no idea how complicated it would be.  Here are some things I have learned:

1. The "Big" Publishing houses only accept a few manuscripts from new Authors a year.
2. They also will not accept manuscripts directly from the Author, but the Author must hire an agent as a go-between. 
3. If they do accept your manuscript from an agent, they pay you to let them publish.  Here is where I am unsure, I believe they receive a percentage from the sale of the books.  Anyway, they handle all the different aspects of making a manuscript ready for the market and then they handle marketing, too.
4. Another way to be discovered, is to go to a conference and find a way to get yourself noticed.  Hopefully someone from the Publishing company will take a look at your work.

So, if a manuscript is published by a major Publishing house, it is no small achievement. Another thing I have learned is there are Hybrid Publishing houses. 

1. These are smaller publishing houses that will accept manuscripts for review. 
2. If they agree to publish your manuscript, they will help you do all the work to publish and market for a price.  
3. There is a contract involved and it will need to be renewed, after a certain amount of time, depending on the company. It will take more money to do this. 
4. They also will get a percentage from each book that sells.
5. There are some of these companies, that have received very good reviews and some who have received very bad reviews. 

I have spoken with people in several of these companies.  We have exchanged emails, phone calls and I have received information on each of them.  They have all expressed a desire to review my manuscript. They all sound pretty good on the surface.  As many of you know, I asked for prayer for wisdom.  The Lord has helped me.  As I was researching these companies, I also reached out to my Writer/Author friends and received many great words of wisdom and advice. Some Authors I talked to, had very strong opinions about a few of these companies. One Author and I talked on the phone for almost an hour one day and she was incredibly helpful.  (Find her book, "The Giving Challenge" by Stephanie L. Jones on Amazon.) 

I learned about self-publishing.  This is very popular.  So many of the Authors I have talked to and met, are self-published.  What does this mean?  Instead of waiting to make it into the big leagues, or paying a one-stop shop to publish their books, they are doing the work themselves.  They either hire out each step of the process or they do it completely by themselves.  Some say it is just more affordable doing it this way.  The steps to self-publishing, as I understand it, are:

1.  Writing the manuscript
2.  Self-editing
3.  Finding Beta-Readers (Readers who are not friends or relatives to read and critique your book.)
4.   Professional Editing (Some Authors forgo this step.)
5.   Formatting the manuscript (Making the manuscript book ready.)
6.   Cover design
7.  Apply for a Copyright
8.   Obtain an ISBN code
9.  Have the book printed.
10.  Market the book to businesses for resale and to readers.
11. When a book sells, handle packaging and shipping.

Lastly, for all of these different methods, the Author has to have developed their Platform.  Every one of the Writers/Authors/Publishers, I have spoken with, have hammered home this lesson.  An Author has to have a Platform.  What is that?  It is an online presence.  Our names or pen names, need to be recognizable to many people throughout the land of social media.  Some people have said, a publisher will not look at you, unless you already have a following online.  So, as you may have noticed, I have been working on my platform.  You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and I have this Blog.  It has actually been a great learning experience for me and it has helped me make so many friendships and connections in the writing world.  Believe me, for an introvert like me, it has definitely taken me out of my comfort zone! Learning to put myself out there for the "world" to see, has been a lesson in faith. Anyway, it was actually a blessing, when that first Author told me, "You have to have a platform!" and I said, "What's a platform?"  She explained it and here I am...growing, learning and starting to get a pretty nice group of people following me on my journey.

So, through all that I have learned.  This is where I am...I go to a conference in September.  I have appointments there with an editor and an agent.  I plan to get my manuscript in the best condition I can, before I go and have another book well on it's way by then (which was also another bit of advice I received).  If I do not get discovered by one of the major Publishers there, I plan to work with one of the Hybrid companies, with the best reviews.  I just don't have time for the "do it yourself" plan.

My plans may change, but I am taking the advice of some Authors, I trust.  I am still praying and asking the Lord to lead me.  So, we will see if He leads me a different way.  How can you help?  Pray for me.  If you are an Author that likes to help us newbies, I would love to hear from you!  Also,  help me grow my platform.  Join me on my different sites.  You can find me, either under the name Sandy Kay Slawson or Sandy Kay Slawson Writer.  Like my stuff, share my stuff and mention me on your own sites # or @sandykayslawson or # or @sandykayslawsonwriter.  The more followers I have, the more the Publishing companies will stand up and take notice.

In Christ,

Sandy Kay Slawson

Daily Assignments

Two Sundays ago, Pastor Keith Zachary of New Covenant Church in Denham Springs, Louisiana shared a page of his journal with the Church.  It is a very helpful plan to live each day intentionally serving the Lord and others.  I asked him if I could share the journal page with you, and he graciously agreed.  He did want me to mention that in the bottom left corner, is a quote that he does not remember where he found it.

Now, Bro. Keith Zachary as a pastor will choose to do each of these tasks each day in the way that suits him as a pastor, with a pastor's life.  I'm sure how I do them, will be different from you or him. Each of us, though, can use these prompts to help us to be more aware and intentional in how we are serving.  I don't want to live a life that only focuses on myself and I am sure you don't either, but we can become so caught up in our everyday tasks, that we don't take time to think about what would bless the Lord and others.  These things don't need to take a long time each day, but if you get into the habit of doing it, I'm pretty sure it will make your day richer, and you will see the blessings that you are receiving because of it.

Here is a page in my planner. To the left is where I wrote down the number of the assignment and then what I did (on the 28th, I wrote it above).  

So, if you are looking for a simple way to work on your spiritual growth each day, this is a good start. Thanks again, Bro. Keith, for sharing this with us. Here you can find the link to New Covenant Church and they can also be found on Facebook.

Update on my writing journey:  I have been in contact with several publishing companies, Writers and Authors, learning, researching and getting lots of advice. Still praying and seeking God's Will.  I am working on editing Chapter 15 now.

In Christ,

Sandy Kay Slawson